~AshumiLyoko

Edited the explanation of hugs at the bottom for anyone who's curious.

Gyaah, I'm finding so many people I know on dA, that it's....simply amazing! (gosh, and I thought I was the only one for a while...) Now it seems that I'm going to be surrounded by friends I know (egads, it'll be awkward to admit some things later on...) but luckily, there are still a few people I know that don't have a dA that I will FORCE UNTO THEM. Yesssss.
Anyways. Yeah, I suppose I really should take advantage of my new tablet and start doodling right? WRONG. I have finals next week and I'll probably end up putting off studying so much that I'll be banned from the internet. And we can't let that happen! So, study time this weekend. -sob-

I used to be able to draw in order to let go of my stress, but nowadays, it just disappoints me even more. I mean, there are some things that I'll really want to draw or get onto paper, but I can't phrase it properly or draw it right and whatnot... And sometimes I feel as though I'm going backwards. But I'll continue to do this!

Tagged by: ...No one. I stole it off of *Hyura Hee.

8 Random Things About Me: (I'm sure I've done this several times already, so I'll try to add new things?!)

1. The first present I got from a boy was a necklace with a piece of amethyst in it; he said it would protect me. I'm not sure, but I think I lost it during my move, and that makes me sad.

2. Of all the religions, the Greek gods, Roman gods, Norse myths, and Shintoism attract me most. (although the first three aren't really believed in anymore..) Because of the belief in several gods to create the earth. It's always fascinated me.

3. Inside, I've never truly felt like a girl. I'm sorry to say that.

4. I'll stand up for everything I believe in even if it's ridiculous to everyone else and I'm the only one left.

5. A lot of my friends misinterpret the meanings of the things I say or do. (especially when I'm just trying to be nice, or something equally strange)

6. There is actually a very valid reason for why I don't like to be hugged, which may or may not be explained at the end of this journal. We'll see.**

7. I've always suspected that I'm adopted or..something. And it's not helped by the fact that my parents continually "joke" that I was switched or mistaken at birth.

8. ...I couldn't live without friends, but I can live without family. I wonder why...



NINE Ways To Win My Heart


1. Just be YOURSELF. (heh, probably the most overused line ever.) I'll take you faults and all.

2. Don't feed me lies about yourself. Little lies build up. And if I find from my resources that you're seriously wrong in the head, I will believe them. My resources NEVER LIE.

3. Be sure that you can handle my personality. Because I can be quiet sometimes, and quite outspoken the next. (especially when you're insulting something I like..) But it's not mood swings. It's just me being loyal to the things I love. I'd do the same for you if someone were insulting you.

4. I love funny people. Any type of humor really wins points for me, but if you're hurting someone else on purpose to be funny, then...well it just isn't funny any more. Sexual humor is something I'm really tuned into. And sometimes, I'll catch an innuendo when no one else does, so watch out. And yes, I DO make sex jokes. Get over it.

5. Respect my boundaries. If I say no, then I mean it. If I don't want to be hugged, kissed, have my hand held, etc. then please, don't push me. Sometimes, when I just don't want to do something simple like diving, then you might be able to convince me, but some things I will stick to.

6. Be open minded. I have lots of things I believe in, and I don't want to be arguing with you every two minutes. That doesn't mean that we have to agree on everything, but I'm really strong about gay and transsexual rights, so if you're a homophobe, please step away for your own safety. I'm not a fangirl, but I can be just as violent. These are rights that may apply to me one day, so step back. Try again.

7. Spend time with me. I'd like to know you first. ...Although it may be a bit awkward to date a best friend due to that "I'll see you everyday whether we break up or not" thing. But if we end it on a good note, I promise to be just as nice as before. No hard feelings. But I'd really like to get to know you as a person. Or at least a little bit. Before I start thinking of you as a brother or a sister. XD

8. Have fun. My family would think I'm lying when I say this, but I like to have fun. Be adventurous. I live day by day, and I have difficulty planning out every aspect of my life. Sure, I can stick to plans, but be exciting. I love adventures. Like, if I'm at a party at a friend's house, and as I wander outside for air and see a nice long empty road, I'll have the urge to take a run down that path to see what's at the other end. And I'll most likely follow that urge.

9. I tend to enjoy being around older people, although I can't complain if you're younger than me. But at this stage in life, lots of guys younger than me (younger than 15) are immature and wouldn't understand the jokes I make or the things I talk about. Even the girls would be too caught up in their own egos for a while to see things the way I do. And I see things from a different, and more detached point of view than most people. That's why I can accept lots of phenomena.



EIGHT Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. Travel aaaaallll over the world.

2. Go to a convention for a proper amount of time. (more than two hours, gawd!)

3. Hum... move in with friends and eventually out on my own?

4. Own my own jazz bar thing or possibly even a cafe where I will be bartender or barista. There, I can make it a friendly atmosphere of my own choosing and be amongst people while still being separated by the bar. And I can be like.. a free therapist (that's why I'll get a psychology degree) for those who can't bother to hire a professional who will ask "And how do you feel about that?" while writing reports. -shudder-

5. Draw a piece that I will actually love. One that I'm satisfied with.

6. Find out how much alcohol I can stand! (But I'll have to experiment with this at home, where I can't possibly do something stupid.)

7. Meet some of my bestest interweb friends. YEAHHHH.

8. Graduate... or... something.



SEVEN Ways To Annoy Me


1. Be a stick in the mud. Like I stated earlier, I enjoy LIVING LIFE. So...live it with me? (no, not like that you dorks. I meant to do fun things like roller coaster rides...)

2. Constantly talk about your ex- girlfriends/boyfriends. I mean, it's interesting, but it can be a downer when we're talking. And it's rather difficult to change the subject after this...

3. Constantly say "I'm fat/ugly/stupid!". Because chances are, you're not. And I am. So SHOVE OFF.

4. Purposefully pick fights with me. (like getting my riled up with a stupid argument) I get that enough at home.

5. Insult my friends or family. This really ticks me off. Because no matter how cool you are, that's just not cool. And also: Only I am allowed to pick on my cousin ~kojislice. He is my personal thorn, and I shall protect him always! NYAH! (trust me, this illogical logic makes sense. Sort of.) Only I am allowed to do any acts of annoyance towards this kid, so if he EVER gets into trouble with bullies and shit, I'll be ready with my lead pipe.

6. Fangirl/boy. Squeals of joy can make me deafer than I already am. I understand your obsession, but don't shove it in my face. I know already. He/She's yours. You can have 'em.

7. Mess around with my art supplies. Just, no. Not even my baby cousin can be excused, because THEY ARE MY BABIES (the supplies). Along with a few stuffed beanies, but those are a whole other story. My art is my life (and once I hit 21, so will my alcohol) and if I find out that my markers are dried out, or were misused, or my pencils are broken and ruined, or that you SABOTAGED MY WORK, then there will be blood tonight. Fresh kill. No matter how sucky my art can be, and no matter how old it is, it holds some importance to me. So LEAVE IT ALONE UNLESS I SAY OTHERWISE.



SIX Things I Believe In


1. Kaaarma

2. Destiny and fate to an extent.

3. Ghosts/Angels (They exist, man! )/and occasionally devils. But not religiously. No. Instead, I believe in beings with wings, and such. Like elves, valkyries, zephyrs (especially!) and such.

4. I'm an agnostic, so I don't believe in your "God" because I don't think there is ever a gender, name, or form that the deities can take on. And we might have even been made by a giant turtle throwing up our universe! And left us there! (eww, it didn't even wipe us up?) So, yeah. I can believe in multiple gods, spirits and such, but I will never give a number of them or names.

5. Soul mates exist, although it's not guaranteed you will ever find yours. And it's not guaranteed that your soulmate will be the one you love. (souls bond; what can I say?)

6. Love is love is love. Just as sex is sex is sex. Love cannot be chosen. It just happens. I cannot choose who I love, and you cannot either. It's a word that is tossed around too often to be of any use anymore. But if I ever tell you those three words sincerely, then you must be pretty damn special.



FIVE Things I am Afraid Of


1. People pulling away just as I let them in.

2. Being alone. (friends, and family I suppose.)

3. Being rejected (in every aspect--by my parents, friends, crushes, jobs, etc.)

4. Losing the little control I have over my anger. I don't want to explode.

5. Making the decisions I want in life, and being hurt and rejected because of it.



FOUR Favorite Items In My Room


1. Roarie, my old old old 10 year old beanie baby. He's a lovely lion that I'll never forget. (I can still be found chatting with him occasionally. Yes, I am insane. So sue me.)

2. My sketch book.

3. My red panda shirt. (that I don't wear too often any more for fear of staining it)

4. My... art supplies~~



THREE Things I Do Everyday


1. Reading a story of some sort. (Fanfiction, internet, an actual book )

2. Throwing my alarm clock to the other part of the room to turn it off.

3. Think of another twist to a story I'm composing in my head.



TWO Things I Want To Do Right Now


1. Check my email.

2. Drink something. Like...your BLOOD! Blveehh!! (not like "bleh" but as in "I vant to drink your blvood! BLVEH!")



ONE Person I Want to See Right Now

1. Hmm... tough choice. Buuut probably ....my old friend Jeffrey. He was cool. Haven't seen him in a while...huh.

** And before I forget my deal with all you patient freaks:
Every time I've hugged someone dear to me as a hug hello or goodbye, they've only grown farther away as I hold them closer. I don't believe in just coincidences.
-my first best friend Andy from first grade. He had problems at home with a violent drunkard of a father (but his mom protected him) so his ma finally decided to up and leave to go live with family in Florida. They were going together, and it was no secret from his father who was so smashed that he didn't care, and on the last day I saw him, he promised me that he'd come back for me in a year (at most, three years) and he'd visit during the breaks. I hugged him for the first time goodbye. A year passed, no news. Soon enough, it was fifth grade, and I asked around about it. Turns out, he and his mom were mugged on their way to the airport (they had to leave their car somewhere and walk to the airport) and when Andy ran off, he was shot and his mother was too. Sad story, ne? But true.
-my second best friend Lupita from first grade also. We didn't separate until sixth grade when I switched schools and moved soon after that. A hug to say we would never forget one another. Now, we've grown further apart than ever.

There was another girl, Aoi, but her story and mine is personal. And I do not wish to share it at this time. Please respect that, and thank you. Perhaps..I'll tell you all one day. And maybe if I'm in a good mood and you note me or ask me in person, I might tell you.
Now you know.